Die Hard,

Minute 002: Make Fists with Your Toes

October 03, 2017

Curtis Bloes & Jason Hummel
of  the Better Off Dead Minute


After landing at LAX, the man in the window seat smiles at the nervous man in the aisle seat.

“You want to know the secret to surviving air travel?” asks the guy in the window seat. “After you get to where you’re going, take off your shoes and your socks, then you walk around on the rug barefoot, and make fists with your toes.”

The man in the aisle seat looks at the man in the window seat askance. “Fists with your toes?” he asks.

The man in the window seat laughs. “I know!” he says, “It sounds crazy. Trust me, I’ve been doing it for nine years. Yes, sir – – better than a shower and a hot cup of coffee!” He laughs again.

The man in the aisle seat nods. “Okay,” he says.

Passengers begin to disembark. As the man in the aisle seat stands to reach for the overhead luggage, the man in the window seat notices he’s wearing a shoulder holder and carrying a pistol. He stares slack-jawed at the man in the aisle seat.

“It’s okay,” says the man getting his carry-on luggage, “I’m a cop. Trust me: I’ve been doing this for *eleven* years!” The man from the aisle seat pulls a large teddy bear from the overhead bin.

The man with the teddy bear moves past a flight attendant. He looks at her, and she looks back at him.

“Have a very merry Christmas,” says an announcement over the plane’s speakers.

Echoing chimes begin the movie’s title theme.


Passengers are collecting their luggage at a baggage claim carousel.


John McClane: Bruce Willis

Businessman: Robert Lesser

Flight Attendant: Stella Hall





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