THIS WEEK’S HOSTS:
MIKE CARLUCCI & TIERNEY STEELE
OF THE RETURN TO OZ MINUTE
John McClane is talking to a very puzzled Hans Gruber on the walkie-talkie. McClane scoops up ammunition into a backpack as he smokes a cigarette.
“Mister Mystery Guest,” says Gruber into his walkie-talkie, “are you still there?” McClane slings the backpack onto his shoulders and looks through the conference room partition.
“Yeah, I’m still here — unless you want to open the front door for me,” replies McClane. He slides the partition open and walks into the next room.
“Ah, no, I’m afraid not,” says Gruber, ” but you have me at a loss. You know my name, but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he’s John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?”
McClane checks the floor exits and the elevator bank. “I was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers, actually,” says John. “I really liked them sequined shirts.”
Gruber smirks. “Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mister Cowboy?” says Hans.
The elevator on McClane’s floor pings, as John leaves through the stairwell entrance.
“Yipee-kai-yay, mother f—-er,” he says into the walkie-talkie. Hans puts the walkie-talkie down.
Meanwhile, reporter Richard Thornburgh is talking to his producer. “I can get the jump on everybody if I can get a remote!”
“Sam,” says anchorman Harvey on the microphone to the studio, “I don’t have the new pages. Where’s the Gladden re-”
“Harvey,” says producer Sam, “keep your pants on, will ya?” Sam brushes past Thornburgh.
“Sam, look, I’m begging you,” says Thornburgh, following Sam out to the studio.
“Simon’s already doing a remote,” says Sam, “with that Salinas thing, but I’m -”
IN THIS MINUTE:
John McClane: Bruce Willis
Hans Gruber: Alan Rickman
Thornburgh: William Allerton
Sam: Mark Goldstein
Harvey: David Ursin