Die Hard,

Minute 068: Live from Century City

January 03, 2018

Curtis Bloes & Jason Hummel
of  the Better Off Dead Minute

Hans glances at the TV.

“We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin,” says the TV announcer.

“This is Richard Thornburg, live, from Century City,” says Thornburg. A panning shot goes down the side of Nakatomi Tower on the TV. “Tonight, Los Angeles has joined the sad, and worldwide fraternity of cities, whose only membership requirement is to suffer the anguish of international terrorism,” continues Thornburg.

In the limo, Argyle uncaps a bottle of liquor with his mouth, then spits out the cap. The TV in the limo is tuned to Thornburg’s newscast, but Argyle isn’t paying attention. Argyle toasts the stuffed bear.

“Approximately two hours ago,” says Thornburg, “an unidentified group of men seized control of the Nakatomi Building, sealing off all entrances and exits.”

Argyle looks at the TV set.

“All telephone lines have been cut,” continues Thornburg, “and the only communication now possible has been through the use of CB communicators, which the group apparently brought with them.”

Arglye drinks from his tiny liquor bottle.

Thornburg continues, “According to official sources, the perpetrators of this strange building seizure –”

Argyle lunges for the CB radio in the front of the limo. Throwing the switch, he hears police communications.

“Unit Five, hold your position at the main entrance,” says a voice on the radio.

Outside, SWAT teams hurry in front of the building.

“All right, guys, this is what we’ve got: we’ve got Charlie Unit in position by the parking structure. We’re going to send them in through the parking structure,” says the SWAT leader.

Dwayne Robinson interrupts. “Alright, let me ask you something,” says Robinson, “Is this – does this stairway go up to the escalator?”

“Yeah,” says the SWAT leader, “That’s where they’re going. They’re going to go through the lobby, up there,  and try and draw some fire.”

“What’s going on?” asks Al Powell.

“What’s it look like?” replies Robinson. “We’re going in.”


William Atherton as Richard Thornburg

Matt Landers as SWAT Leader Captain Mitchell

Paul Gleason as Dwayne Robinson

De’voreax White as Argyle

Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber

Bruno Doyon as Franco

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