Die Hard,

Minute 081: Business is Business

January 22, 2018

Niall McGowan & Jonfen Parker of  The Batman ’89 Minute

Ellis wanders in to “negotiate” with Hans.

“It’s obvious you’re not some dumb shmuck, up here to snatch a few purses, am I right?” asks Harry, beginning his sales banter.

“You’re very perceptive,” says Hans, puzzled.

“I watch 60 Minutes,” says Harry. “I say to myself: these guys are professional, they’re motivated, they’re happening – – i.e., they want something, huh? Now personally, I couldn’t care less about your politics. Maybe  you’re pissed off at the camel jockeys, maybe it’s the Hebes, Northern Ireland – – it’s none of my business! I figure, you’re here to negotiate – am I right? ”

Hans has no idea where Harry is going with this. “You’re amazing. You figured this all out, already,” he says to Ellis. Harry laughs.

“Hey,  business is business. You use a gun, I use a fountain pen. What’s the difference?” Ellis explains, “Let’s put it in my terms: you’re here on a hostile takeover, you grab us for some greenmail, but you didn’t expects some kind of poison pill was going to be running around inside the building! Am I right?”

Hans looks at Karl. Karl looks at Hans.

“Hans!’ says Ellis, “Bubbe — I’m your white knight!”

Hans shakes the cobwebs out of his head. “I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?”

Ellis pats Karl on the shoulder. “The guy upstairs is f—ing things up, huh?” Ellis sits down.

Hart Bochner as Harry Ellis

Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber

Bruno Doyon as Franco

Alexander Godunov as Karl


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